Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sorry, Grandpa Edward doesn't turn me on (but Rob still does)

Finally, it's here, the Eclipse trailer all the fans, including myself, have been dying to see!
And I have to say, it seems to me the plot sticks to the book's, I'm relieved. (It crushed my heart when half of the scenes I have a fetish for didn't make the transition from Twilight the book to Twilight the movie).
So before we talk about the things that, eh... , are not so good, I'll let you watch the trailer again:



Like many, I'm sure, I kinda giggled at the make-up a few times when I first saw Twilight (the first one). I made fun at Catherine Hardwicke's vision of the blue air in Forks, the red-eared vampires, blue-skinned Bella, etc. Ok, that's not entirely true: I still do. Every time I watch it, I find it cheesy. And what to say of the peacoat, with the propped up collar, and the perfectly tousled/hightlighted 4inch high hair on Edward's head?

Two pale but good-looking people. He happens to have golden eyes. She's translucent-skinned. 

Like many people, I was curious to see if it would be better, when I learned Catherine would not direct the second installment. Be careful what you wish for, they say. 
Well dear Catherine, please accept my belated apology. I'm sorry. I was wrong, you were right. Overwhelming cheesiness, at which I shrug in front of people to hide how much I wish I was 15 again, was just concealing the amazing job you did at producing the perfect image of the book I loved. Yes, you used blue lens filters throughout the movie. So what? It shows perfectly what's described in the book, and I've actually lived in places where it looks like that half the time. You made me dream about Robward more often than I'm willing to publicly acknowledge. You made me buy the palest shade of mineral foundation I could find, and take it easy on the bronzer. You made me wear headbands again.

Now this, from the Eclipse trailer, I have a problem with:

WTF DID THEY DO TO EDWARD????!!!!
I know morticians who would have done a better job! (maybe that's who they called to do his make-up, because he sure doesn't look like something alive enough for me to fantasize about. I'm not into necrophilia, thank you very much, but no thanks.).

I'm a little unfair, actually, because it all started in New Moon. I don't know if you've read this interview, where the costume designer says she was really careful choosing Edward's costume for New Moon, because it's what we would see him in for most of the movie, and it had to be perfect. Well I've got news for you: it wasn't! It actually really sucked. Looked like the way my grandpa dresses, and he's senile.
17? yeah, right.... Edward you look sick. Not "Whoa, a million bucks? that's sick, bro!", but "I-have-Ebola-I'm-shitting-my-guts-I'm-gonna-die-sick."
I'd hoped that they would have done a better job in Eclipse, but after seeing the trailer, I'm scared. It's even worse than in New Moon. Orange eyes? WTF?! And I tremendously regret the make-up from Twilight. What did they do to him? Cover him in grease and dip him in flour? Please give us the sculpted eyebrows, the red ears, and the grey peacoat from the first movie back!
Hot Edward, please, come back!
As for Bella's look, I'm devastated. What a terrible, terrible wig. 
But that's not all. And again, this is true for New Moon too: Bella's supposed to be pale. Did they spray tan her or what? We know Kristen's paler than pale in real life. Why TF did they make her up into an Alyssa Milano look-alike?
Alyssa? Is that you? WTF?!
So again, Kristen, I will always love you. You can drop awards on stage, pole dance for the Sopranos' guy, cough at the Oscars, fuck Ryan Reynolds, and rock out with a mullet, I'll still love you. (oh wait, you already did?)
But this, is my Bella. 

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6 Comments:

Blogger Musing Bella said...

Hey there! I completely agree with you. I SQUEEEEd over the trailer, just like anyone else, but the shot you captures of her here was the point when I went, "Who does she remind me of here?" and you're right: Alyssa Milano, completely. And she's way too tan. Maybe she's trying to fit in in La Push?

Personally, I liked the costumes of Twilight and the skin tones of New Moon. Because I think of Edward as slightly paler than Bella (I can't remember how it's described in the books exactly), but the clothes in New Moon were just plain silly, even not counting the prancing-through-the-woods vision. (Except Bella's birthday dress, that was pretty.)

Oh, and I'm with you on the favorite parts being left out of the first one. I cried after I saw it the first time because of that - sad, but true. ;-)

March 11, 2010 at 6:08 PM  
Blogger ShotgunCharlie said...

Thanks for your comment!
I just think that the first movie, as a whole (costumes, atmosphere, music...) was much more addictive. I really didn't like Edward's look in New Moon (in case I wasn't clear before ;) )
I agree with you about the birthday dress, and the birthday look in its entirety, actually. I think it's the only time she wears the headband like in Twilight.
I didn't cry for the left out parts, but it really made me mad!

March 11, 2010 at 10:34 PM  
Blogger Stacked Like Sookie said...

Hi Charlie *waves* I found you which is quite an achievment as my techtardia is a running joke with all my bloggy friends! I agree with you 100% about Twilight (where was all the romantic dialog in the meadow?) but CH so nailed the look of it aswell as the music. I love Edwards 4 inch hair (lol),at least the color was right but I did think Bella was too pale, there were times she was paler than Edward!
NM-YUK! Edward looked 108 years old with lizard eyes and wasn't he supposed to be happy at her birthday before the paper cut? He looked like he was at a funeral. Everyones wigs and make-up was awful and poor Jasper looked like he had a dead cat on his head. My daughter (12) watches Hannah Montanah (yeah pity me)& shes got a gorgeous wig, maybe they should have gone to Disney. I didn't think vampires hair grew so why has Alice got flat hair? AND I thought the girls were supposed to be obsessed with fashion so why has Alice got flat shoes on & is dressed like a bag lady?
I think Kristin should have worn a wig for the Runaways afterall she did sign up for a franchise and now they have stuck that god awful wig on her. Hopefully her hair will have grown out enough for some decent extensions in BD.
I saw a clip yeaterday on Twitarded and you will all pysl when you see what they've done to poor Jasper this time! He looks like a girl!

March 15, 2010 at 3:06 PM  
Blogger ShotgunCharlie said...

Hey StackedLikeSookie!
Forgive me for the delayed reply, Blogger forgot to forward me your comment, and I've been organizing my trip to NY to the Runaways adcvanced screening, so I haven't even written a post (though I did post comments about Remember Me everywhere)...
It's amazing how I agree with you on everything you said: Alice in NM looks like the middle aged wife of a politician in eastern europe, and that's not a compliment. I loved all of the makeup and costumes in Twilight, and except Bella's clothes, everything was awful in newmoon. I don't even understand why they chose the brownish theme, when the blue/green shades of twilight fit stephenie meyer's description much better... Oh well, since they kept the same make up and costume people in eclipse, we can't expect much, can we? At least edward seems to be a little better dressed...

March 16, 2010 at 4:12 PM  
Blogger Stacked Like Sookie said...

You're going to NY for an advanced screening? How exciting!
PMSL at your Alice comment, so true! When will it dawn on the costume people that all they have to do to Edward is put him in a blue shirt & smexy jeans and he's just right. No grandpa suits or brown shoes PLEASE...Something else that pissed me off was that the wolf pack was shirtless ALL the time especially at the table. Didn't anyone tell them it's bad manners? Yeah Jacob looks amazing but every scene?

March 16, 2010 at 11:25 PM  
Blogger TongueTwied said...

LOL! Funny how you've come full circle! I guess if BD gets broken into 2 movies we can only hope there are 2 more chances for them to get the make up right.

I'm hoping wedding and sex Edward is HOT! as in NOT PANCAKE white.

March 21, 2010 at 1:32 PM  

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